Quite a weekend
Jul. 4th, 2006 11:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
morleyroarlyIt's been quite a weekend.
Friday night after work and dinner,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
headlouse and I drove as far as Donner Pass and camped out off the road in the national forest. We both got a solid 4 to 5 hours of sleep, then piled back into BonBon to drive the rest of the way to the playa.
We arrived at the Empire store around 11:30 and stopped to top off the gas tank and buy some last minute cold tasty treats. We sawspiderfiend and sfslim pull into the station and we all said jubilant hellos, then headed out towards Frog Pond.
On Jango Rd., the eastern gravel road towards Frog Pond, Colin and I chatted aimlessly as we slowly rumbled towards the playa. I stopped to pee in the middle of the road. I turned to Colin about 1 mile in from Hwy 447 and said "You know, I've been thinking a lot about mortality lately - what with traveling a lot, my Grandmom passing away at Christmas..." We talked about our respective grandmothers' illnesses, about death, about the relative safety of driving. The conversation hit a lull, and we turned the corner.
We sawsfslim driving the other direction, fast, on his motorcycle without spiderfiend aboard. Something was strange, something was up. Soon thereafter, we came across a stopped car and three people, spiderfiend and two other burners, standing in and near the road. It took a moment to register why, and then we realized - a smallish SUV was facing the opposite direction on the left side of the road. Off the road, in the dirt. And it was smashed up. And there was.. someone in it. Already by the time headlouse and I had arrived, there was aluminet netting draped over the front windshield and someone was watching guard over what turned out to be an unconscious man named Nathan Esch.
After standing around for about five minutes trying to get over the shock and figure out what was happening, Colin and I decided to drive on to Frog Pond and Juplaya camps and see if we could locate medical help. We had no idea how long it would take for paramedics to arrive, and we figured we might more immediately locate someone with medical knowledge at camp. We passed one car coming the opposite direction about 1/4 mile down the road, but they had no medical folks aboard. They apparently called 911 when they got to Empire. About 1/2 mile from the accident site, towards frog pond, we came around a corner and found a woman walking down the road, carrying a jug of water. She had dried blood on her hands and face and she was visibly shaken. She was the passenger in the accident. Her name is Shoshana.
Over the next few hours we pieced together the story: Nathan had been the driver of the vehicle, Shoshana the single passenger. They had been driving back to the playa from Empire, having arrived earlier from Seattle and gone into town for some supplies. They were both wearing seatbelts. Nathan was purposefully fishtailing and driving fast, encouraging Shoshana to close her eyes and have fun with the experience. He was a member of the military who had training driving vehicles offroad. Nathan lost control of the vehicle and it rolled several times before coming to rest upright on the opposite side of the road, facing the opposite direction. During the roll, it landed very hard on the driver side, injuring Nathan severely. The passenger side of the vehicle was comparatively undamaged, allowing Shoshana to walk away from the accident with scratches, bruises, muscle aches and a small bump on her head. Nathan was not so lucky.
Colin and I drove Shoshana out to Juplaya camp where she told her friends (Nathan's friends as well) what had happened. My first words when I hit the playa were "Is there anyone here with medical training?" We found an EMT named Daniel, and Shoshana and I returned to the accident site while Colin stayed behind.
By the time we arrived back at the site the paramedics had arrived. Five people were attending to Nathan, removing him from the vehicle and stabilizing him. A medivac helicopter arrived to take him to the hospital in Reno. Meanwhile, I stayed with Shoshana who seemed to be otherwise alone and overwhelmed - I held her hand while she cooled down in an air conditioned car, and I stayed with her while she talked to an EMT and was strapped into a backboard in the ambulance (she had some back pain, and though she thought it was likely reactivated from a prior injury, they wanted to be sure she was okay). I offered to go to the hospital with her, but then realized that going in the ambulance would be counterproductive - it would leave me in Reno, alone, with no vehicle. I would hardly be able to help Shoshana if I couldn't even leave to get food, make phone calls, etc. I was in no condition to drive the 2 1/2 hours back to Reno myself, having had minimal sleep the night before, so instead I gave Shoshana my number and took hers. Once she was safely in the ambulance I turned my attention to her friends Kitty and Kristy who were also rather distraught - I tried to help them figure out how to best get to Reno, and I gave them as many hugs as I could. I agreed to take their belongings back to the bay area so they could catch a ride to Reno unencumbered.
Finally, around 3:30 pm, after giving my written statement to the police and saying goodbye to Kitty and Kristy, I caught a ride back to Juplaya camp with some strangers (BonBon having already been driven back by Daniel). I collapsed into a chair and cried a while, then rebooted my blood sugar and had a low-key evening. It was an emotionally draining afternoon, and it certainly left us all contemplative.headlouse and I took it fairly easy and went to bed around midnight. I felt disconnected and confused, my playa arrival having been thrown into chaos by the car accident.
When Nathan left in the helicopter, it was unclear what his chances were. His head injury was very serious (I didn't look closely when we arrived at the accident scene, but I saw enough blood and enough of the smashed car that I knew he had been grievously injured). We didn't hear anything about him for the rest of the weekend. I prayed for him to live, though I'm hardly a devout or even offhanded Christian. I really hoped that he would be alright.
I also prayed for Shoshana, for her to regain her strength and clarity. When I was spending time with her, trying to be a friend to her, she was saying things like "I should have walked the other direction!" and "Maybe I could have done something to help him!" It was clear to me from what I saw that she could not have helped Nathan, and that her best course of action was to do exactly what she did - walk for help, towards camp which was closer than Empire and more of a known entity. I tried to assure her that she'd done everything she could, but I still knew she was likely sitting in the hospital in Reno alone, scared, out of the loop regarding Nathan's status, and overwhelmed. I wished I could have been there as company, but I had to trust in the fact that Kitty and Kristy would be there soon to provide support.
Sunday brought bloody maries in the morning, relaxing at Frog Pond in the afternoon, a beautiful sunset wedding, and remaining uniquely sober on Sunday night. I had a period of emotional upheaval and chaos when I felt my disconnection amplified by my sobriety. I vented a little to Colin, and then I crawled into my truck alone and cried, and cried, and cried. I had decided prior to the weekend that I wanted to remain mostly sober, and it was difficult sticking to that plan due to the stress of the accident and the social pressure of being at such a non-sober event. But, I stood my ground! I drove out halfway to the Dismal fireworks display camp and parked my truck, I plugged in my iPod, and I crawled in the back and lay down on the air mattress and cried some more. I thought a lot ofavocado_tom and how much I missed him, of how much has changed for me in the past year, of how much remains the same in terms of my social anxieties.
I was pulled out of my self-deprecating funk by the sound of a large vehicle approaching. A big truck cruised by, then circled around. "Oh crap," I thought to myself, "Someone's come to check on me, what a pain." I rubbed my eyes mostly dry and crawled out of the bed of the truck, only to be greeted by Justin shouting "MORLEY! HI!" He had just arrived on the playa and I was the first person he stumbled across in his aimless wanderings looking for his camp! He and his awesome girlfriend Holly gave me big hugs, and just then we discovered he had a flat tire. We spent about an hour hunting down non-shitty tire iron tools (the key - BUY TOYOTA TIRE IRONS! they rule!) and getting his tire replaced. He did most of the work, of course, but I helped by shining my headlights on the whole mess, driving off to find a better tire iron, drinking one of his beers, and playing bluegrass music to lift our moods. After the tire incident they headed to their camp. I felt MUCH better after spending time with them, so I went searching forheadlouse and our You Are That Pig friends.
I reconnected with my campmates around 1am and played sober chauffeur to everyone - I had at times half a dozen people piled in the back of my truck, cruising across the playa towards points unknown. It was fun, and I wound up having some good conversations with people, despite the sobriety disparities. We all retired to Frog Pond for a dawn soak, and I finally crawled into bed around 7am.
Monday brought eggs and bacon for breakfast, followed by lounging around and slowly packing up the truck. I packed up a pile of things belonging to Kitty, Kristy and Nathan with the understanding that I'd leave them in San Francisco to be returned at a future date (they're from Seattle).headlouse and I left around 6pm on Monday afternoon and began the drive back towards San Francisco.
When we re-entered cell range, I checked my voicemail and I had a few messages regarding the accident. One fromwebnesto who had read a blog post quickly and misinterpreted, thinking I might have been involved - he called to be sure I was okay. The other message was from pyrokitten_mew, who called to coordinate the drop off of the Seattle folks' stuff.
I called back Eno, and I found out that Nathan's cat scan had showed minimal brain activity and he had not regained consciousness. PK informed me that his parents had decided to disconnect his life support.
I informed Colin, who was driving at the time, and we pulled off at the next exit and camped for the night. Neither of us felt like driving after hearing the news of Nathan's death. We had a subdued evening around a small campfire. I talked toavocado_tom for a while, and Colin checked his voicemail. He had a message from his mother and he was worried about his grandmother, who has been very ill lately. We fell shakily asleep around 1am.
This morning we awoke to hot sun beating down on the tent.headlouse immediately called his parents and was informed that his Grandma Kay had passed away on Saturday, July 1st. I did my best to console and support him as he dealt with the news. Disinclined to linger, we quickly packed up BonBon and headed back to SF.
After dropping off Kitty/Kristy/Nathan's stuff at PK's house, and my stuff athindustan's house, we crawled back to headlouse's place in the Tenderloin and curled up with Indian food and a movie. We're both rather wrecked from an exhausting and emotionally draining weekend. It's nice to have company tonight, and I'm glad I can be here for him at a difficult time.
I'm very, very sorry to hear of Nathan's death. I am particularly sad for Nathan's two young sons who will grow up without their father. I must say, when I saw the vehicle, I was skeptical as to how anyone could survive such an accident. As Nathan was declared brain dead subsequent to the cat scan, this means he basically died on impact - while his body kept functioning (his lungs kept breathing, his heart kept pumping) his conscious mind, his spirit, was long since departed. He was gone before we even arrived on the scene, before he received medical attention and was airlifted out.
The how and why of the accident has been a matter of speculation amongst folks out on the playa this weekend and in the burner internet community. I have a very clear and well-founded understanding of how and why the vehicle flipped from conversations with Shoshana and others who were close to the event. Nathan was driving aggressively and recklessly, and he lost control of the vehicle. That's irrelevant now. What matters is this: a man died, and he will be dearly missed. A woman lived, and for that we should all be grateful.
The synchronicity ofheadlouse's Grandma passing away on the same day as Nathan is not lost on us. Nor is the fact that we'd been talking about mortality and car accidents just moments before we came upon the scene of Nathan & Shoshana's accident. Synchronicity is also responsible for the joy of being discovered randomly by Justin, so it's not all bad.
I don't really know how to end this post, except to say..
Goodbye, Nathan Esch.
Goodbye, Grandma Kay.
And everyone else - DRIVE SAFELY!
Friday night after work and dinner,
headlouse and I drove as far as Donner Pass and camped out off the road in the national forest. We both got a solid 4 to 5 hours of sleep, then piled back into BonBon to drive the rest of the way to the playa.We arrived at the Empire store around 11:30 and stopped to top off the gas tank and buy some last minute cold tasty treats. We saw
spiderfiend and sfslim pull into the station and we all said jubilant hellos, then headed out towards Frog Pond.On Jango Rd., the eastern gravel road towards Frog Pond, Colin and I chatted aimlessly as we slowly rumbled towards the playa. I stopped to pee in the middle of the road. I turned to Colin about 1 mile in from Hwy 447 and said "You know, I've been thinking a lot about mortality lately - what with traveling a lot, my Grandmom passing away at Christmas..." We talked about our respective grandmothers' illnesses, about death, about the relative safety of driving. The conversation hit a lull, and we turned the corner.
We saw
sfslim driving the other direction, fast, on his motorcycle without spiderfiend aboard. Something was strange, something was up. Soon thereafter, we came across a stopped car and three people, spiderfiend and two other burners, standing in and near the road. It took a moment to register why, and then we realized - a smallish SUV was facing the opposite direction on the left side of the road. Off the road, in the dirt. And it was smashed up. And there was.. someone in it. Already by the time headlouse and I had arrived, there was aluminet netting draped over the front windshield and someone was watching guard over what turned out to be an unconscious man named Nathan Esch. After standing around for about five minutes trying to get over the shock and figure out what was happening, Colin and I decided to drive on to Frog Pond and Juplaya camps and see if we could locate medical help. We had no idea how long it would take for paramedics to arrive, and we figured we might more immediately locate someone with medical knowledge at camp. We passed one car coming the opposite direction about 1/4 mile down the road, but they had no medical folks aboard. They apparently called 911 when they got to Empire. About 1/2 mile from the accident site, towards frog pond, we came around a corner and found a woman walking down the road, carrying a jug of water. She had dried blood on her hands and face and she was visibly shaken. She was the passenger in the accident. Her name is Shoshana.
Over the next few hours we pieced together the story: Nathan had been the driver of the vehicle, Shoshana the single passenger. They had been driving back to the playa from Empire, having arrived earlier from Seattle and gone into town for some supplies. They were both wearing seatbelts. Nathan was purposefully fishtailing and driving fast, encouraging Shoshana to close her eyes and have fun with the experience. He was a member of the military who had training driving vehicles offroad. Nathan lost control of the vehicle and it rolled several times before coming to rest upright on the opposite side of the road, facing the opposite direction. During the roll, it landed very hard on the driver side, injuring Nathan severely. The passenger side of the vehicle was comparatively undamaged, allowing Shoshana to walk away from the accident with scratches, bruises, muscle aches and a small bump on her head. Nathan was not so lucky.
Colin and I drove Shoshana out to Juplaya camp where she told her friends (Nathan's friends as well) what had happened. My first words when I hit the playa were "Is there anyone here with medical training?" We found an EMT named Daniel, and Shoshana and I returned to the accident site while Colin stayed behind.
By the time we arrived back at the site the paramedics had arrived. Five people were attending to Nathan, removing him from the vehicle and stabilizing him. A medivac helicopter arrived to take him to the hospital in Reno. Meanwhile, I stayed with Shoshana who seemed to be otherwise alone and overwhelmed - I held her hand while she cooled down in an air conditioned car, and I stayed with her while she talked to an EMT and was strapped into a backboard in the ambulance (she had some back pain, and though she thought it was likely reactivated from a prior injury, they wanted to be sure she was okay). I offered to go to the hospital with her, but then realized that going in the ambulance would be counterproductive - it would leave me in Reno, alone, with no vehicle. I would hardly be able to help Shoshana if I couldn't even leave to get food, make phone calls, etc. I was in no condition to drive the 2 1/2 hours back to Reno myself, having had minimal sleep the night before, so instead I gave Shoshana my number and took hers. Once she was safely in the ambulance I turned my attention to her friends Kitty and Kristy who were also rather distraught - I tried to help them figure out how to best get to Reno, and I gave them as many hugs as I could. I agreed to take their belongings back to the bay area so they could catch a ride to Reno unencumbered.
Finally, around 3:30 pm, after giving my written statement to the police and saying goodbye to Kitty and Kristy, I caught a ride back to Juplaya camp with some strangers (BonBon having already been driven back by Daniel). I collapsed into a chair and cried a while, then rebooted my blood sugar and had a low-key evening. It was an emotionally draining afternoon, and it certainly left us all contemplative.
headlouse and I took it fairly easy and went to bed around midnight. I felt disconnected and confused, my playa arrival having been thrown into chaos by the car accident.When Nathan left in the helicopter, it was unclear what his chances were. His head injury was very serious (I didn't look closely when we arrived at the accident scene, but I saw enough blood and enough of the smashed car that I knew he had been grievously injured). We didn't hear anything about him for the rest of the weekend. I prayed for him to live, though I'm hardly a devout or even offhanded Christian. I really hoped that he would be alright.
I also prayed for Shoshana, for her to regain her strength and clarity. When I was spending time with her, trying to be a friend to her, she was saying things like "I should have walked the other direction!" and "Maybe I could have done something to help him!" It was clear to me from what I saw that she could not have helped Nathan, and that her best course of action was to do exactly what she did - walk for help, towards camp which was closer than Empire and more of a known entity. I tried to assure her that she'd done everything she could, but I still knew she was likely sitting in the hospital in Reno alone, scared, out of the loop regarding Nathan's status, and overwhelmed. I wished I could have been there as company, but I had to trust in the fact that Kitty and Kristy would be there soon to provide support.
Sunday brought bloody maries in the morning, relaxing at Frog Pond in the afternoon, a beautiful sunset wedding, and remaining uniquely sober on Sunday night. I had a period of emotional upheaval and chaos when I felt my disconnection amplified by my sobriety. I vented a little to Colin, and then I crawled into my truck alone and cried, and cried, and cried. I had decided prior to the weekend that I wanted to remain mostly sober, and it was difficult sticking to that plan due to the stress of the accident and the social pressure of being at such a non-sober event. But, I stood my ground! I drove out halfway to the Dismal fireworks display camp and parked my truck, I plugged in my iPod, and I crawled in the back and lay down on the air mattress and cried some more. I thought a lot of
avocado_tom and how much I missed him, of how much has changed for me in the past year, of how much remains the same in terms of my social anxieties. I was pulled out of my self-deprecating funk by the sound of a large vehicle approaching. A big truck cruised by, then circled around. "Oh crap," I thought to myself, "Someone's come to check on me, what a pain." I rubbed my eyes mostly dry and crawled out of the bed of the truck, only to be greeted by Justin shouting "MORLEY! HI!" He had just arrived on the playa and I was the first person he stumbled across in his aimless wanderings looking for his camp! He and his awesome girlfriend Holly gave me big hugs, and just then we discovered he had a flat tire. We spent about an hour hunting down non-shitty tire iron tools (the key - BUY TOYOTA TIRE IRONS! they rule!) and getting his tire replaced. He did most of the work, of course, but I helped by shining my headlights on the whole mess, driving off to find a better tire iron, drinking one of his beers, and playing bluegrass music to lift our moods. After the tire incident they headed to their camp. I felt MUCH better after spending time with them, so I went searching for
headlouse and our You Are That Pig friends.I reconnected with my campmates around 1am and played sober chauffeur to everyone - I had at times half a dozen people piled in the back of my truck, cruising across the playa towards points unknown. It was fun, and I wound up having some good conversations with people, despite the sobriety disparities. We all retired to Frog Pond for a dawn soak, and I finally crawled into bed around 7am.
Monday brought eggs and bacon for breakfast, followed by lounging around and slowly packing up the truck. I packed up a pile of things belonging to Kitty, Kristy and Nathan with the understanding that I'd leave them in San Francisco to be returned at a future date (they're from Seattle).
headlouse and I left around 6pm on Monday afternoon and began the drive back towards San Francisco. When we re-entered cell range, I checked my voicemail and I had a few messages regarding the accident. One from
webnesto who had read a blog post quickly and misinterpreted, thinking I might have been involved - he called to be sure I was okay. The other message was from pyrokitten_mew, who called to coordinate the drop off of the Seattle folks' stuff.I called back Eno, and I found out that Nathan's cat scan had showed minimal brain activity and he had not regained consciousness. PK informed me that his parents had decided to disconnect his life support.
I informed Colin, who was driving at the time, and we pulled off at the next exit and camped for the night. Neither of us felt like driving after hearing the news of Nathan's death. We had a subdued evening around a small campfire. I talked to
avocado_tom for a while, and Colin checked his voicemail. He had a message from his mother and he was worried about his grandmother, who has been very ill lately. We fell shakily asleep around 1am.This morning we awoke to hot sun beating down on the tent.
headlouse immediately called his parents and was informed that his Grandma Kay had passed away on Saturday, July 1st. I did my best to console and support him as he dealt with the news. Disinclined to linger, we quickly packed up BonBon and headed back to SF.After dropping off Kitty/Kristy/Nathan's stuff at PK's house, and my stuff at
hindustan's house, we crawled back to headlouse's place in the Tenderloin and curled up with Indian food and a movie. We're both rather wrecked from an exhausting and emotionally draining weekend. It's nice to have company tonight, and I'm glad I can be here for him at a difficult time.I'm very, very sorry to hear of Nathan's death. I am particularly sad for Nathan's two young sons who will grow up without their father. I must say, when I saw the vehicle, I was skeptical as to how anyone could survive such an accident. As Nathan was declared brain dead subsequent to the cat scan, this means he basically died on impact - while his body kept functioning (his lungs kept breathing, his heart kept pumping) his conscious mind, his spirit, was long since departed. He was gone before we even arrived on the scene, before he received medical attention and was airlifted out.
The how and why of the accident has been a matter of speculation amongst folks out on the playa this weekend and in the burner internet community. I have a very clear and well-founded understanding of how and why the vehicle flipped from conversations with Shoshana and others who were close to the event. Nathan was driving aggressively and recklessly, and he lost control of the vehicle. That's irrelevant now. What matters is this: a man died, and he will be dearly missed. A woman lived, and for that we should all be grateful.
The synchronicity of
headlouse's Grandma passing away on the same day as Nathan is not lost on us. Nor is the fact that we'd been talking about mortality and car accidents just moments before we came upon the scene of Nathan & Shoshana's accident. Synchronicity is also responsible for the joy of being discovered randomly by Justin, so it's not all bad.I don't really know how to end this post, except to say..
Goodbye, Nathan Esch.
Goodbye, Grandma Kay.
And everyone else - DRIVE SAFELY!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-07-05 07:08 am (UTC)I've had probably the exact opposite weekend. No people, no parties, no drama, no...nuttin', but cleaning the cottage from top to bottom.
Want to come over this week sometime and hang out?
no subject
Date: 2006-07-05 07:44 am (UTC)*grabsqueezeanddoesn'tletgo*
no subject
Date: 2006-07-05 04:44 pm (UTC)despite everything it was great to see you this weekend, and I'm glad we were able to give you refuge for a while on Saturday.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2006-07-05 04:50 pm (UTC)Are you still in SF? how long until you leave the Bay Area? I missed you at Bad Movie Night a while ago and since you are relocating I'd like to see you before you go if it's possible.
-b
no subject
Date: 2006-07-05 05:32 pm (UTC)Hugs,
morley
no subject
Date: 2006-07-05 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-05 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-06 10:40 pm (UTC)"Please if someone can please pass along the eternal grattitude for stopping and helping Shoshana. It really meant alot to her and will be remembered for a long time to come."